On the path through the swamp to the horses.
I’m feeling a bit like the washed out path to the horses. With all the rain this week, the timing of this analogy is NOT lost on me.
Physically Washed Out
Tired. My visual system is especially tired of Zoom. 3 hours Wednesday, 9 hours Thursday. 9 hours Friday. And then volunteering for 4-H 9 hours Saturday. 7 more hours on Tuesday. And today. All on Zoom! That’s a lot of zooming. My shoulders, neck, back, legs, basically my whole body aches after that many hours online. Yes, even with movement-oriented classes, I discovered my max of online time.
Mentally Fatigued
The experiences were new. The courses were global. They reached over 50 people from over 12 countries. They had people brand new to the Brain Gym® field all the way to the very founders of this work.
More new experiences. I planned and facilitated a 4-H event that had never been held virtually before. 19 youth, 6 judges, 5 U of M employees, and myself flowing in and out of Zoom breakout rooms successfully. I expended a lot of mental energy. I put a lot of pressure on myself!
My motto was “What if I could?” And I did! And now I’m ready for a break.
Emotionally Drained
I’ve been teaching weekly courses almost every week of 2020. It’s been my personal life saver and kept me thriving through Covid, lock downs, fears, re-openings, fears, George Floyd, riots, looting, racism, fears, and more. Yet, this week is another rollercoaster of big “feels”!
Today…….
- After spending all of Saturday volunteering for the state wide 4-H Dan Patch competition, we learned the state horse show in September is cancelled. My heart aches. My brain knows this decision is best. Yet, I’m a bit incoherent and in conflict with myself. I’m processing.
- I facilitated a Zoom meeting to celebrate the Visioncircles course I taught over the last 8 weeks. Twelve were in attendance including the esteemed Brain Gym® founders, other faculty guests and 1/2 the course attendees. Joy. Gratitude. Can-do-it-ness. Love.
- Colleagues from around the world reminded me with their communication (verbally and nonverbally) that life is finite. It is not infinite. It is a journey with an end point, even though the exact end is unknown.
- I heard of deaths. From Covid. A bit close to home. Whether I knew the person or not, I know the person(s) hurting and grieving over loss. I feel.
Washed Out? or Washed Over?
It’s super sticky humid and hot out. Didn’t matter. I walked, turned on Spotify and heard “Bring My Flowers Now” by Tanya Tucker. Finally, the tears let loose. Tears ran down my face while sweat ran down my back. Life is a journey, not a destination. It is a marathon, not a sprint. Life has valleys, as well as peaks. Self-responsibility is about choosing how to be in the moment. “Keep Me In the Moment” by Jeremy Camp has been my lifeline this spring/summer.
I am choosing to: Walk my path. (Tonight’s mindful stride was slow and sad.) Pick the weeds as well as the vegetables. Swat the deer flies. Admire the wild lilies. Swoon over the beautifully colored horses and chickens that share my space. Use my body to move and stretch. Live through each of my senses. Feel all the feelings without judging them.
Being washed over is way different than being washed out! My roots are strong. I am bigger than any one experience on my life journey!
Post-script:
I have added to my summer schedule to keep me consistently moving with intention and maintain my own physical skills of learning: Brain Gym® Movements (BG104), Brain Gym® Movement Facilitator (BG110), and Brain Gym® Teacher Practicum (BG401).
©2020 cindy goldade, In-Motion intelligence
